I just fell out of my chair at work because of you...
... aren't you glad of all those InjuryLawyers4U adverts on T.V. now...
I say sue xlsior for criminal injury and then sue your employers for (a) having furniture without safety bars to keep you in your seat and (b) negligence in allowing you to read funny forum posts during the working day.
I thought of that all by my self and was in no way influenced by the amount of daytime TV advertising I get saturated with....