I chose ODE over Tok for speed and flexibility. I never had problems with Tokamaks physics. I could set materials as Icy or Rubber (low and high friction) and they reacted as such, so the slippy objects slid down an inclined plane whereas the non-slippery ones gripped.
However, I've only worked in simple systems and am seemingly unique in not wanting to use physics for a car simulator! For complex systems I don't know if Tok has problems or not. JV-ODE also has the benefit of some nice features as requested, such as how Restitution is evaluated (max or mean of two objects). The joint system is also very straightforward and effective too. Now I've go tthe hang of ODE, adding rotational forces to objects and throwing some ragdolls around is easy and looks fantastic!
However, I've only worked in simple systems and am seemingly unique in not wanting to use physics for a car simulator! For complex systems I don't know if Tok has problems or not. JV-ODE also has the benefit of some nice features as requested, such as how Restitution is evaluated (max or mean of two objects). The joint system is also very straightforward and effective too. Now I've go tthe hang of ODE, adding rotational forces to objects and throwing some ragdolls around is easy and looks fantastic!