I'll believe you when you show us.
How about this:Dell Top-of-the-line gaming laptop, the one they refer to as the "AlienKiller" in promotional material. The Dell XPS laptop.
Not only is it more expensive, it's also got worse hardware than the Alienwares it's supposed to kill.
If I can do it with long fingernails and a complete genetic inability to grasp anything mechanical or with moving parts, you lot should find it easy.
What kind of weird computers do they have at your place? Babbage machines? :o>