I don't know Sledge, it certainly sounds to me like you have a pretty deep-seated loathing for Macs. Considering your post is littered with adjectives like horrendous, horrific, preposterous, and weedy,
I find them aesthetically asinine - all my perjorative terms relate to Apple's "style", not the Mac range's performance as functional items (which is what comuters are, ultimately). I don't want to pay extra purely for a look I don't like, and that's what makes the (comparatively) "weedy" specs a worry... I'd like to think the performance stood up because of elegant design but I'm reliant on people who have some experience to fill me in. Knowing at what general level a G4 and G5 were in terms of PC gaming performance would be helpful.
Why not linux?
Tried it and really didn't get on with the OS. For general home computer use it's not really an option (is it?) and it doesn't have the Mac's shareware market advantage. It neither dazzles nor excites.